18/06/2026: I'm giving it three stars only for the quality of the food and the atmosphere, because otherwise I'm still visibly shaken.
On Friday night, we went to Taverna del Maltese to celebrate a friend's birthday. The place is truly beautiful and welcoming, with an excellent selection of craft beers. The sandwiches were also spectacular, tasty, and made with top-quality ingredients. The problem arose halfway through the evening.
After drinking a couple of beers, I asked where the bathroom was. They vaguely pointed me down the hall, but I must have gone the wrong way. I found myself in a kind of dark closet, filled with old signs and empty beer crates. At the far end of the room, half-hidden by an old keg, was a heavy metal door, identical to those found in industrial kitchens, with a small, opaque glass porthole in the center.
Intrigued, and convinced it was a shortcut to the restrooms, I approached and looked inside. What I saw will haunt me forever.
In a room lit by flickering neon lights, there weren't the waiters we'd seen in the dining room, but monstrous creatures, vaguely human-like but with disproportionate mouths and long, slimy fingers. They were literally gobbling down, with animalistic voracity, an immense quantity of sweets. Specifically, they were devastating three different cakes:
A monumental cream millefeuille, with layers of pastry flying everywhere as they devoured it with both hands.
A giant, dense, blackish Sacher torte, which these creatures smeared on their faces, grunting with pleasure.
A refined tart of fresh fruit and Chantilly cream, whose berries dripped onto the floor like blood.
As they chewed noisily and disgustingly, I heard them laughing and whispering among themselves in hollow voices: "Free... everything free and succulent!" They smell of fresh ignorance, they smell of new customers... poor fools, they don't know that you should NEVER bring cakes here, eheheheh.....».
If you go to the Taverna del Maltese, enjoy the beer and sandwiches, which are excellent. But leave the cakes at home.
18/06/2026: Absurd! I brought a birthday cake, my birthday. I left it on the table and then went to the bathroom while I waited for the guests. Never was a mistake more fatal... I returned and my cake was gone, replaced by a waiter covered head to toe in the frothy cream of MY cake, now reduced to an ornament on a hungry and greedy body.
Despite the evidence, he had the courage to respond to my accusations by denying it. "No, sir, you're wrong. There was no cake on the table. You must have made a mistake." I flew into a rage, but it was no use; everyone pretended not to believe me and called me crazy. I pointed my finger at the waiter, pointing at the cream, and everyone looked at the finger. A surreal situation that forced me to leave the place, slamming the door. I will never return.
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